Are you her Rebound

“I fell in Love with her .

I married her .

I was so excited about my life with her and even wanted a child.

She was the one person I chose in my life who made me happy.

She made me feel loved, secured , complete as a man.

But now what all does this say about me ? That everything I had with her was a figment of my imagination. Infact more than figment .

It was a lie . Everything was right in from me and I could not see it. I just believed it . All of it .

Nothing . No sentence , no punishment, no revenge could ever come close to making up for what she has done. She . Me . Us was a lie. My life for 2 years was a lie. Every feeling. Every Memory. ”

These lines are one of my previous articles . But they make complete sense for this topic . As I was never involved in one and trusted her with my heart and soul I could never make out that I was just a rebound. In such relationships like which happened in mine things move fast . Everything seems rollercoaster , fast and exciting. However , Rebound relationships can be very confusing . At one moment the adrenaline is so high in the relationship and in next it’s gone dead .

The biggest issue with these relationships is that the person you are in love with has a baggage . And that baggage is not even yours but you are carrying it unknowingly . I am not saying these relationships cannot work but mine did not . If yours did do share . Moreover , I only found recently that I was her rebound guy. So if you know you are in rebound relationship do not take it seriously . Have your fun and let it roll. But I was not this intelligent and here sharing it with you so that you know if you are in one .

Here are the Signs you are Rebound guy :

1) She is not healed – One thing which I have learned over the years is that women in general do not heal quickly . She might say it but she is lying . If they are invested then they will take time and tons of effort to move forward . 2-3 months are not really enough for a woman to be healed . She will try to tell you and act that things are normal . You will feel that she knows you from ages and things will move pretty fast . For a woman she has just replaced you in the head and continuing her journey she left with her ex. So , if you notice that within 10 days you are hugging, kissing,making out ,holding hands like there is no tomorrow there are big big chances you are her Rebound.

2) She’s Emotionally MIA – One of my biggest mistakes was that I kept thinking that she needs time to open up . Whereas , she was just emotionally missing . Breakups where a woman is heavily invested takes a big toll on the inside. She will feel she is cheated , betrayed not just by him but entire species . Woman after such a breakup is emotionally exhausted and it will take you good enough time to crack that wall . You will notice in your conversations that there is nothing emotionally . You will share your experiences whereas she will just nod and take your topic forward rather than telling you how she dealt with hers . Like in mine there is a big possibility she will try to cover emotions by being physical with you . But everytime you would try to make her open up you will realise that her guard is up.

3) She Manipulates you to be someone else – Everyone has few flaws. Adjusting and changing as per your lives and accommodate each other. However , these changes should not be towards changing you the person you are. If a woman loves, she loves for real. The problem which I understood much later was that she was in a relationship and even married to me in her head but in the heart she was still with her ex. She will then try and replicate changes in you by manipulating like her ex was . She may ask you to change your wardrobe styling, hairstyle or even you hobbies. I remember how she kept telling me that I need to stop watching football on tv or tv in general , I need to have a good physique , etc. I kept thinking she wants me to be better until one day she took the name of her ex and said ,”have you even seen his body”. So, if you are making way to many changes which do not fit your style and making you uncomfortable then there is a big chance you are a Rebound .

4)Little things lead to fights and fights go through the roof – A woman when hurt is actually hurt bad and has become bitter inside . The anger of one man makes her feel that entire Male race has plotted things against her . The reason she is in a rebound is to forget the pain but when some mistake happens it blows out of proportion . And  Emotionally running out a shadow will never work . Your small mistake like keeping a wet towel on the bed will turn out to be massive fight like you actually took the call to buy a car without telling her . Such instances are clear indication that your partner is bitter about something.  So if any of your connections reminds her of the ex , you will pay for his sins no-doubt. Many a times , she will used the phrase ,’All of you are the same” and you will be left confused as who the hell is she referring it to.

5) She Introduces you to her Family and it’s all about wedding bells – The problem when a woman has a breakup especially with whom she was about to get married is friends, relatives asking what next . You are her saviour . She can now very easily show your face and make her way past all those gossip talks and questions. You on the other hand think she is introducing or taking this step as she is committed but there is more to the eye than you can see. If you know all her friends , parents and almost everyone in her life in a very short span of time then chances are you are her rebound.

Women are a sensitive beings . They take loads of time to heal than us men and her rebound is only to distract herself and move on from heartache whereas you were looking for love.  Man will come out of the relationship as hurt and emotionally drained because you paid for the sins of someone else’s mistakes . It’s not like that a woman when moves on from a breakup you are always a rebound. She can perfectly be ok about it and make her next relationship everything you both want.

I seriously hope nobody even my enemies do not end up like I did . By the time I figured out that I was a rebound I was way way away from the land . And the only way to save myself was to save the ship if not then swim back . But in either case I would end up losing a lot which I did .

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A chilled out guy who loves to live life . Write about relationships from his own experience.

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