Are you in a Relationship Rut? Here’s what you can do

If you are in a long-term relationship, say five or seven years, a relationship rut is no big deal. You don’t really need to panic or doubt if your love was true. No love is a fairy tale, it takes a lot of hardwork and commitment to make it last forever.

Firstly, you need to accept that it is bound to happen in a long term relationship. In the months of your relationship, you are keep to know the person and understand them. But with time, you are going to change emotionally or physically. You may be less interested in meeting them often, or engaging in sexual activities. You may also feel annoyed talking to them.

But what exactly to do when you go through this phase?

Meet often
You automatically tend to lose interest in a person if you don’t meet. Meeting often can help you stay connected and feel special, like before. You may be having your classes on five days a week, and your partner may be busy on the weekend, and you have so many excuses to not meet. But, just try to find one, and take out time to meet your partner. Try to make things better by talking.

Talk less
It may seem a bit strange. But it is based on a number of studies, the more you talk, more you are likely to get annoyed. If you talk with them the whole day or say 8 hours a day, on call or texts, you’ll definitely feel frustrated. And the biggest issue one faces is they don’t know what exactly to talk. Try to reduce your interaction time. If you even replied to them during dinner, stop doing that. So that you have things to talk apart from simply ‘fine, you say’! But remember, whatever you talk, make them feel you are genuinely interested in them.

Recall old days
Remember the initial days of your relationship when you both were curious to meet and talk. Look for the reasons to stay together instead of finding the flaws in the relationship. You can also go out for tours during vacation. Even if you are married, making a honeymoon happen multiple times really works in maintaining a healthy relationship.

Visit a professional
Despite trying hard, if things don’t happen to return like earlier, you should seek help. If you are truly wanting to continue the relationship, visit a ‘Couple therapist’ who may help you with it. Also try to go along with your partner and discuss how things can turn better.

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Aastha Kochar

Aastha Kochar

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