Does you partner bring in gifts for you which he feels you would love, but it doesn’t really excites you or that is what you don’t really want?
And do you often feel like your partner doesn’t love you anymore as they do not compliment you or say ‘i love you’ often?
According to the Five Love Languages, written by Gary Chapman, a Christian pastor and relationships counsellor, all of us have a “language” in which we express and love to recieve love and affection by our partner. The book was first published in 1992 and some relationship therapists still use its ideas.
According to Chapman, there are five basic love languages:
Words of affirmation (such as saying to your partner “I love you”, or paying them compliments);
Quality time (phones away, television off, undivided attention);
Acts of service (such as making a nightly hot-water bottle, or taking on the household jobs you know your partner dislikes); and
It is argued that the most preferred means of being loved or the primary language of love is often common in both the partners. And there is always one of these which we love the most. In order to ensure that your partner feels being loved by you, you must talk to them about how they love to be loved, by recieving gifts, being appreciated, physical touch or any of the other two. Talking about it can break the communication barrier which is the most common problem with most of the relationships. It can help understand the other person better and therefore improve relationship.
However, Sarah Calvert, a sex and relationship therapist said,
“There’s an argument to say all of them are needed and at different times, and to different extents depending on the person,”. Partners may need and acknowledge different ways based on situation. For example, when you are tired, you may want them to help you with chores, at this time you may not be happy with physical touch.
Here you know your way of being loved by doing this quiz-
Also ensure that your partner does it too!