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How to have calm discussions with your partner over serious matters?

Disagreements are normal for any relationship. But the way you hold it, is all what determines your relationship. It’s important to be calm while disagreeing or else you may just blurt out something which you may regret later. And you may just feel you lost your temper and said, so it’s completely fine; but it may negatively affect your relation with your partner.

So, here’s how you can be calm and still talk about it:

1- Decide that common symbol/word
Talk to your partner about situations like this when you any of you may lose temper and feel that you may say mindlessly say something. Decide a common word/symbol which will be used by the person who feel they need some time.

2- Give time
Whenever during any discussion, either of you feel you are getting those butterflies in your stomach or that anger within you which may result in speaking something mindlessly, give signal to your partner and they will understand you don’t wish to talk about it at the moment.

3- Keep yourself busy
Once you’ve decided to avoid the conversation for the time being, keep yourself engaged in something that makes you happy. It may be playing with your kids, reading, talking to friends or any household work. Bring yourself back to normal state.

4- Check back in
Once you feel better and calm, get back to your partner to check if you still need to discuss about that matter. Many a times it may not even be required. Something may make you angry at the moment but later you may realize it wasn’t something to fight upon.

5- Practice
You may find these steps weird or impractical, but it really works. Try these out by having discussion with your partner.

Remember – disagree but humbly!!

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Aastha Kochar

Aastha Kochar

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