When I was in school, college the very first time I felt something for a girl was a very unique,different and amazing feeling at the same time. It took me almost 2 weeks to just go and introduce myself to this girl I liked in my high school. Every single thing we did after , I said or planning a pizza date with her required efforts , thought , talking to friends about ideas and also many of them playing the wingman .
Approaching her to ask ,’will you be my gf?” , was more tougher of a task than to solve trigonometry. And the fear of being embarrassed if she said NO was much higher than the Pride , Name & Fame if she said ‘YES” . But still we used to do it . It was fun .
But today how the entire dating scene has been disrupted by just swiping right is just ridiculous. 3,4 Years back it all just bombarded and the initial taboo towards it just went down the barrel. Tinder , Bumble, Instagram,snapchat and basically all these social media apps have now become more or less dating apps. Today , the entire concept of Activation energy being low is much preferred to our times being relatively high.
Activation energy, in chemistry, the minimum amount of energy that is required to activate atoms or molecules to a condition in which they can undergo chemical transformation or physical transport.
In a simple terminology , you are far more activated to play and learn the Guitar if it is at your bedside in comparison it being in your closet upstairs. In Dating Terminology, the idea of being dressed up , going to the club ,liking someone and then approaching them with the fear of being rejected in front of your friends/her friends , people, thinking and practicing what you will say or do was much higher than it is today.
This generation is more about picking up the phone , swiping right and getting into their DM’s , Images , literally virtually seeing their world and yourself analyzing if it is a potential match or not . This took ages before but now it’s the minimum of effort and that heart-racing feeling of being rejected , hurt has been very much eliminated .
That real time feeling of acceptance or rejection is just no more. How many of us men have been told ,”I have a boy-friend” in our times but how many hear this when you PING a stranger. The only rejection here is getting no response or being blocked. Well, that is not even 10% of the hurt I am talking about. The activation energy has gone relatively low but it has also lowered down the entire law of attraction .
The entire concept of being pumped up in the chest and head every single time a girl gave you her number was just bloody brilliant . The entire journey going back home , you felt motivated and are like YEAH ! I am bloody awesome and IT WORKED . Whatever I SAID , WORKED . And now the real deal began. I have her number .
When should I call , what would I say , will she remember me tomorrow , should I ask her out or should I take this call on the call ???? . This is the investment you were making before you have even met her by yourself. This pushed you to do more. Be happy . The efforts you made are being rewarded . This is your own anecdote. Something worth remembering . Your own story. Maybe OURS if all goes well.
Now I am home and the first thing I would do is call my best friend and other friends going crazy about this girl I met . Everyone would ask things about her , somebody would ask which school, college bla bla . Now , this is the investment I am doing here . Investment of time.
After this , I made the call. Invited her on a date and it went well . Now when I go back home , I am processing it with zillion things I could have said, told,what she said , etc etc and over a period of 3,4,5 dates we move into the next phase. Future, exclusivity and so on .
Now compare this to the modern dating . You come back after a great date and are feeling motivated ,proud, happy . Your phone shows you another potential 5 matches. You open them and your entire circuit of processing this individual whom you met has been ruined. You have more options and very likely you might just go to have another friendly chat .
Before you know it , you are ghosting and ignoring the date. I am not against modern dating but there is every chance that your match might be going to 5 different dates or talking to 10 different people on the app.
The impact you make on people when meeting them and keeping only ONE option at a time is pretty tough for the new generation as the doors of options have bombarded everyone. If a guy like me who is just pretty ordinary looking can have 15 new matches a month what about a pretty girl. She must be getting 15 a day.
Modern day texting is ruining the concept unless you really want to be different , willing to take a risk of picking up your phone and talking . Texting is useless & rubbish at times and I have seen relationships being ruined because the girl texted more than she could speak . More Noise than everrrr.
My dating options are no longer based on scarcity . I can have options from the Radius I set my app at . More woman want to be committed today than ever. But are they really evolved enough for a relationship when you give texting more importance than listening to someone’s voice or meeting them for real .
I think unless you decide to give yourself to someone , think of there needs as well . Truly seeing someone for who they really are. Understanding them in an absolute manner , you cannot do proper justice to dating .
Swipe less and go out more or Swipe but then talk more than chat .