When you marry someone , you love them with everything you got . You make them your best friend , No:1 on speed dial and just the best person ever to be with . But no matter how macho , great , awesome you feel there is very high chance that you are no longer her centre of the universe.
The signs I am about to mention are all what I saw but I never had the courage to dig deeper to find out as who was the man or was she just out in the market trying to trade her hypergamy . It did hurt me to the core and I was broken as a man. I tried everything to ask her , save our marriage but she never actually gave me a solid enough reason to end it. Finally , after 9 months of trying to save it I gave up and accepted it . Did let her go but she took much more than just breaking my heart. Might be the guy she was with encouraged her or her father or her lawyer but she agreeing to do all this has left a big big mark .
But what more I had to accept was that apart from being betrayed I might have been cheated. Yes. Cheating does happen. Does it happen often ? I don’t know. But if you are asking can it happen with me ? , So the answer is YES but I certainly hope not . What you need to think is that if Robert Pattinson , Angelina Jolie , Nick Lacey can be a victim to it then what chance of immunity do you have.
Why your partner will cheat can be because of variety of reasons . You might both be in love but there is a very high possibility that she might be cheating on you . In my case I could see her not being herself very early in marriage but who knew she is haunted by her ex-lover who moved on to have a happy married life. A rebound marriage can only last for a while but here is the list which did give me enough evidence that either she has found someone knew or is on the lookout for sure. But in both cases I knew I am done,dusted,out.
So here are the 10 signs which you might be ignoring . I am not saying they are 100% sure she is but if you see them it means something is not right . Talk to her . Find out . If it works fine . Do your best for relationship maintenance or just break up.
1) Distance from your Family & Friends – If she has stopped or avoids attending your family reunions, functions , meeting your friends then it’s a huge red-flag. In my book it qualifies as a red flag as she is doing it because it’s indicative to cheaters remorse or her part which means that she is guilty. The less people she has to deal with who are connected to you it’s less mental and conscience guilt she has to go through.
This on the contrary can also mean that someone in your family troubles her . Your Mom , brother, sister, father anyone . So, check for other signs as well but do not ignore this .
2) She Nags you Incessantly – Anything you do is not right and you just cannot make anything right. The days when you could communicate with smile and laughter on your faces are gone. Any emotion you show is just another excuse for her to lash out at you. I remember being told worthless, sensitive fool . What basically is happening here is that she is just trying to self justify her call of cheating. Nagging at you eases her guilt and intentionally highlighting your every flaw helps her with what she is doing.
But again check with her , talk. She might just be angry for not taking out garbage bag on time and her feeling pressured to do everything in the relationship. So talk but again do not ignore this .
3) Mysterious new Friends & Girl’s Night – Some new friend has started to appear in her life and she is going out way too much then ever before is a clear sign . Sign that she is building her new life without you. The support system to maintain her after you is already on the build up. Friends to support and the new man might be there . His name might come up with no details and can be mentioned as just another co-worker. Everything else is totally under wraps and is pretty hesitant to share more details . And even if you walk to her office she will never introduce you .
In my case I did find a name and her new friend circle but I just could go on to hurt myself more by finding out more to it . I did my job by asking her directly as what we can do to improve us and why is she doing what she is doing. But she never sat down and gave me an answer . The fights never concluded.
4) She Refuses to answer simple questions – Any question you ask will come back to you with another question. Or even a taunt as you did that and did I ask you then ? . She is just doing it because she is searching for a lie. Simplest of questions that why you were late can be answered differently from the morning . The answer to this can be as ,”why you want to know ?” .
If her volunteering approach from happy days has become defensive now it’s a clear sign that she might be hiding something or worse someone. Try and dig deeper as she just might be cheating .
5) You are no longer her Priority – I actually never felt in my relationship as I was her absolute on top of her list ever . But whatever my number was came down pretty fast . So if you are no longer a priority for her , alarm bells are ringing . If she is actually involved with someone in her new hot relationship you will see the shift . Suddenly you will notice that she never wants to go for dinners , your sunday movie plans are out of window and in my case office work started popping out from nowhere .
Her phone was busy late nights which to her defense can be her brother from canada but the call back when I was away never came . Priority shift is an absolute sign that something is amiss .
6) She starts getting dolled up – So I noticed this and did not really understand as I had little or no idea then. But then this is really a tricky one as modern woman does a lot of fashion and the trends keep coming up. Also she might be doing it for you to probably spice things up.
But if she is not doing this for you then she is doing it for her new crush or someone already on board or just to pump her own SMV or sexual market value . This my friend is a problem . From make-up to new lip-stick to new physical appearance change by dieting is no worries but if she has stopped taking your opinion on them then titanic has spotted an ice-berg and trust me you can do very little to stop it from hitting it and eventually getting sunk .
7) Becomes more Autonomous / Independent – This is a proper sign that she has finally decided and is actually practicing to live of her own . In My case I remember how I used to tell her that ‘WE’ can get through this until one day she dropped “WE” for “I”. She clearly said it and I quote ,”There is no WE here”. So if she has dropped WE for an I then its a red flag .
Moreover , she has started doing things by herself . Planning holidays trips, shopping,etc with no consultation with you . In short she is literally telling you that I need not you to be here as my man . I have faced it and it’s a serious arrow through your chest and out by back . You are just not in her future plans. It’s just sad but it’s a clear sign .
8) No Sex – You will have a memory of when you last made love to her . She has stopped giving it to you. She is never interested . Always has an excuse . It’s been months since you guys did it . When your relationship is new you are very excited and open to spontaneous love making . Now it’s not the case . And if you do hit the sheets , it’s actually when she wants you to give her pleasure .
I will not lie but I knew for a very long time as what is happening with me . I played dumb and tried all I could to save my marriage but I have never felt more hollow making love to the woman who I knew is just using me . I have felt that it might be me on top of her but in the mind she has someone else. As a man it’s a serious ego bashing but you cannot do anything in such a situation. If you stop doing it , she is angry anyway. If you do it , you are hurting your heart and self . So , if she is not getting the perfect rub from you there is a very high chance someone else is . Lack of sex is not a 100% sign she is cheating but she definitely has something going in her head . So , watch out.
9) No Time for you on her schedule – You will start noticing that everytime you ask her to take a holiday to meet your family or for a trip , she is the most important person in her office. But when her girl friends call her , she has step out of the door without any hesitation. She can take 8 days off for her friends in my case but 1 day is a trouble for me . You are not part of her plans and she leaves you out deliberately .
And when she does step out her plans are always kind of sketchy , changed at last minute or you are the last one to know about them when asked . In my case I caught her multiple times lying to me and only two times I actually revealed to her and parents but instead the blame came back to me to be thinking way-too much. If your wife, GF has a justification as why she lied to you about her whereabouts then plz start packing your bags and call you lawyers to be on standby.
10) You are Irrelevant – You come , go , eat, don’t it really does not matter . If you are in the house you can have the food as what has been cooked if you are out then she gives a damn . Your existence is slowly going down the drain and she has no thought of you being alive or not . I remember being told , “you don’t exist for me anymore”.
The more I asked her what is wrong the more she got irritated. If this is the case then just let her be . No turning back now .
So the conclusion is that if you see these signs it really does not mean that she is cheating 100% but one thing is sure that your relationships is not right. Something is amiss and you guys need to talk it out . If she is not willing to participate then just let it be. But if she can talk then you can sort all your problems . Any concerns you have takes a lot of courage to bring out . Find these , address these and live life . Women look for connections and if it’s hampered they will look for another to function . That’s how they really are .